Getting Away with Schmidt

Oh yes. I’m here to tell you it IS possible to turn an ordinary shopping trip into a glurply, purply, lathering-good time. (But only in my world…) So, it started out as any other ordinary shopping trip to Walmart last night. Jesse, Lydia and I were just coming back from the fair, and Jesse wanted to stop by Walmart on our way home, to get some groceries. (Note: I was NOT intending to buy anything on this particular trip.) Well… that was NOT to be the case this particular evening… After getting a few groceries, Jesse tells me he needs shampoo. So, we proceed to the shampoo / body wash isle. And even though I, myself, do NOT need any shampoo /body wash, I start smelling the various body washes, anyway (and, well, what girl doesn’t?) ;-) But I have a very special way of smelling the shampoo/body washes. You see, if you squeeze the bottle very carefully, you can just push some of the air out of the bottle, which, in turn, releases more of the yummy fragrances into your nostri

OMG... Only in MY world: So... It's "trash-day". There is a big pot of (old) beans in the garage fridge. (They just sat too long out there, because I got too busy to clean out that fridge.) Ok, so... I'll just dump the old beans into a plastic trash bag, & just take it straight to the outside trash can, and take the trash can out to the curb. (It's so funny that I thought this was gonna be easy.) So, I dump the pot into the plastic bag, and set the bag on the garage-floor (temporarily), so I can set the pan (& lid) aside. So... some brown, runny stuff comes oozing near my feet. IT'S BEAN JUICE! Before I know it, it I’m standing in a puddle of it; It GETS ON my really nice boots, as well as the pant-legs of my pants! And A LOT of bean juice ends up covering the garage floor in about a 3X4 puddle (just outside the fridge door, of course). Additionally, I got some of it on my hand once I noticed the puddle. So... no cell on me.. Door shut.. can't

This was written last night, when I was really bored at work, but somehow, I felt so restless... like it was hard to sit still. I feel almost changed from my recent experience... but in a good way... like a part of me has been awakened. So, I will start to share a little bit of what I experienced, starting now, in this blog. It won't be much tonight, as my time is limited. But I can add to it later. So here goes. I just got back from the desert. Back to reality, back from an experience which I am only now coming to realize was more 'perspective-changing' than I could have imagined. I don't know how far-reaching the impression of this experience is yet. Is my enthusiasm just me still experiencing inertia in the wake of the huge ripples of such an experience? Or is it something more lasting? Have I realized more? I sense a difference. I feel enlightened, somehow (which seems strange if you're just somebody reading this out of the blue). If I've "seen the

Friday Night Afterburner 09/03 by Schmidt Talk | Blog Talk Radio : 'via Blog this' First, before we begin, I need to mention that this episode is for a Mature Audience only. On this episode: * Brushing your teeth without a toothbrush * Making the most of peeing discreetly in public (when there are no bathrooms available) * Cutting nausea * To Taco Bell? Or Not to Taco Bell? Dealing with late night drunken-munchies. * And if ya DO make that mistake, I'll be sharing the best way to get puke out of your hair. What about the next day? Did you look at the clock and realize suddenly you’ve lost 2 hours? What to do? Dry shampoo? Ho bath? If you can find your ipod, computer, or other listening device, TUNE IN, and get the straight Schmidt! Schmidt Talk - Your Digital Electrolyte ;-)