Getting Away with Schmidt

Ok, I couldn't resist the challenge. What started out as a comment about pissing in the wind, became someone' suggestion that Elton John to a song titled, "Pissing in the wind." So... Here's my rendition, titled: "Goodbye Urine Stream" (in the style of "Goodbye Norma Jean"). "Goodbye Urine stream... Tho' I never knew you at all you had the grace to hold yourself till I could make it in the stall. I got it on the woodwork Sounding like a whisper, into the rain Like feet on a treadmill... and you'll prolly leave a stain. And it seems to me, I might as well be, pissing in the wind. Never knowing where to go to, When the pee sets in. And I would not like to hold you, cause I'm just like a kid, My bladder will give out long before I can pop the toilet lid." Copyright 2012 Savvy Schmidt - All rights reserved. For more blogs, visit Getting Away with Schmidt... In a Blog

... is how one man sums up his experience with a procedure that's not often talked about. Using somewhat colorful details, this man explains the ins-and-outs of a procedure that, for some reason, ends up taking place in out-patient settings (when it REALLY seems like it only belongs in a torture chamber!) I found this somewhat hard-to-read, yet humorously written story on the Best of Craigslist, San Diego. I have to admit after reading this, my heart goes out to him, (and any other guy going through (or planning to) go through it). But, although I winced all the way through it, I found his work to be humorous, and witty. I tried to track down the original author*, but I had no luck. So, I thought I'd go ahead and share his story here, anyway. (At least I can try to bring a little bit of dignity, (and possibly even encourage a new respect) for the brave souls who've endured (or plan to endure) this procedure. So... blog-readers everywhere, if you've ever wondered

So... if you happen to be on today, checking out my blog, you might notice some wacky changes being made, before I settle on something. (Don't worry though, I've gotten many of you saying you like the raindrop background, so, I'm not getting rid of that... (for now, anyway). ;-) Thanks for your continued readership! You rock! :-)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Ribbons & bowz, that ties down belowz to adorn all my netherly thingz. Such a scandalous thought to make undressing more hot, by the seamstresses making such things. Whether trinkets or bells, or bejeweled little strings which hang down from my brazziere, One thing is for sure... whether front or on rear, trinkets tickle my body like hell! But wear them I will, if it pleases you still whether I'm young, plump, scrawny or old, This task aint too small, But, I'm human, after all! And what girl wants her nights to be cold?!? ;-) ~ Savvy Schmidt Thanks to Katie Kansas for use of her picture. You can find more information on Katie and her shop (and where to buy this, and other such lovely items), by visiting her store Here! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Content Copyright 2012 Schmidt Talk, Inc. All rights reserved. For more blogs, visit Getting Away with Schmidt... In a Blog Than

... You STOP shaving your armpits and he sticks around! ?? Well, girls, I think that might actually be true! Sounds silly, but it's a theory I came up with a few years ago (and which I remembered today after my friend Bri posted on her facebook timeline: "If every girl didn't wear make up and wore comfortable clothes all the time, guys would have to love us for our natural beauty." That made me remember my theory. But if you think about it, it makes sense. If a guy really can't live without a girl, he'll be willing to put up with a little under-arm jungle. ;-) LOL Yep girls. That is the litmus test. (Uhh... not that I know from experience or anything.) ;-P I shave mine regularly (and personally would never do that to my man), however, I just came up with this theory, and I've asked some of my guy friends their opinions on this, and they agree. :) However, if you suddenly stopped taking care of yourself, it might be slightly disrespectful for your p

Never thought that after nearly 7 months to the day after I got my smart-phone, that I'd picture myself beating it against a desk, as it lay wedged with a letter-opener  jammed into the side of it. (No, I'm not psychotic... But this is what my experience owning this phone (& all its accoutrements) has slowly driven me to.) Lol. Just the day before, I'd decided to go ahead and pay my phone in person. (Usually, I pay online or over the phone.) But this day, I was entitled to a "free accesory" for paying in person! (Ooh! Wonder what I could get?) (Ok, I'm kidding about the enthusiasm.)  Technically, I was eligible for the free accessory 3 months ago, but the price of gas had been the discouraging factor. The store was much like any other Cricket store: It had a variety of patrons fixated on the 'new' & the 'latest', while a few apathetic workers pasted on their obligatory smiles, and muttered hello, as they assessed me from beneath h

The single least-complaining, and easy- going trooper I've been blessed to sometimes be able to bring to work with me, is my first-born daughter. And this blog is one about her. (I am currently expecting my 2nd child). Tonight is one of those such nights, where she has accompanied me on the job. It's early evening, and here she is... And we are trying mercilessly to kill time at the radio station - (my second job... a job I had to report to after spending 19 straight hours on the job at the TV station (my first job of the day). As well-behaved as any 13 year old can be expected to be, she is keeping herself busy as I work, as we try to spend the last remnant moments of our dwindling weekend squeezing any possibility of "quality time" into the confines of what has turned out to be an impossibly busy weekend... busier than usual... but, nevertheless, something we expect from time to time. Nothing new. She's been through worse with me... blizzards, floods, you n

This poem was inspired by my littlest daughter, whom I have not yet met, but who more clearly made her presence known with her dear, first (finally unmistakable) little movements, Saturday, August 11th, 2012. When I first learned of your news, it felt like a dream, Proven true when I saw your beautiful face on a screen. Now, I can feel you, my gift from above, And it adds to my feelings of heavenly love. Babies can do things that grown-ups can't do, and you try things with gusto, even though they are new. You rock & you groove to my steady heartbeat, & you can curl your head up, so it's next to your feet. ... unless you are kicking, or running in place, Which makes me imagine the look on your face. But just like all actions, your vigor will fade, Your energy's going into just being made. So, turn your actions to dreams, where you run & you leap, And let mommy's tummy rock you to sleep. :)

That's my combo word for squeaky & stinky. ... because I'm referring to mice... particularly, the post-mortem variety. I'm at work early this morning. I'm not saying which job. ... just that it's early. I'm not trying to be intentionally cryptic in withholding which job I'm currently at, but, in addition to retaining a modicum of anonymity, I might also add that we're in the process of eradicating a small mouse problem we've been having, and I don't want to cast a dark shadow onto this particular workplace by causing disdain to any yuppy, snobbish types who may take a moment of their superiorly important time to cast judgement when they're not busy floating above everyone, doing everything perfectly, and smugly giving advice as if they've never have a mouse, cockroach, or louse in their lives. (These are the type of people whom I wonder if they have the sh*t professionally vaccu-sucked out of their asses twice a week, and disposed

Hello world. I've decided to break up the Savvy Schmidt Blog into several blogs, each with separate, yet relevant blog entries. This particular blog will now be limited to being 'my personal blog', where I will share my personal experiences, and personal feelings about certain things, subjects, and people, and saving the funny & humorous entries for a separate blog. In addition to these blogs, there will also be a blog for humorous writings , and one for articles & opinions. So.... hopefully, in dividing these blogs, it will bring some order to what is otherwise quite an unorganized & cluttered hodgepodge of writings (but, hopefully, it won't cause such a division that it creates more confusion!) :) LOL (I also might cross-promote one blog to the other.) Anyway, that is it for now. :) For now, stay happy! ~ Savvy

Me at 18 weeks pregnant. It's short. It's sweet. But it's just a little vid of me and my expanding waistline. :) Hope you enjoy! :)

When it comes to Facebook, I'm not the savviest Facebook enthusiast but I'm not the most naive, either, and a few years of doing this ought to tell you I didn't just fall off the cyber turnip truck. I'm not going to go into a whole-big thing about 'how' to use your Facebook, and all the details, and bells & whistles Facebook provides, (heck, I don't even know!) But I DO know a few things, and I have been wanting to say something for some time, and that is: YOUR FACEBOOK NEWS-FEED IS NOT THE SAME THING AS YOUR FACEBOOK WALL!! When you see stuff people write on Facebook, it's not necessarily directed at you. I don't know if this is something Facebook just doesn't find important enough to emphasize, or if it's even worth emphasizing (or if it's even something people would pay attention to, if it WAS emphasized), but if I can save just one person from being deleted by an un-informed, disgruntled post recipient, then I will at least

Oklahoma City today.

Found this picture on somebody's wall on facebook and thought I'd share. (As well as add my 2 cents, below.) That is SO much better advice than telling people to "snap out of it". I've noticed healing has always taken time. (And healing DOES occur with time.) This should be obvious when people see a plant which has been cut or pruned --it always takes some time for the plant to grow back (and low & behold, many times it's even stronger than it was before)! ;) FOR MORE BLOGS: visit http:// www.savvyschmidt.com Thanks for reading! :-) Copyright 2008-2012 Schmidt Talk, Inc. All rights reserved

Click Link Below: Ghostly Voice Unknowingly Recorded at TV Station For more of my juicy blogs, come back to this blog at SavvySchmidt.com ! :-) FOR MORE BLOGS: visit http://www. savvyschmidt.com Thanks for reading! :-) Copyright 2008-2012 Schmidt Talk, Inc. All rights reserved

Wow! Now, THESE SHOES might get ya kicked out of a few places! ;-) At least you can kick back! LOL And for just under $20 bucks, you can get them here! For MORE of My Juicy Blogs, Click Here! Copyright 2008-2012 Schmidt Talk, Inc. All rights reserved

Today, my very own step-daughter, Brenna Brand, makes it though the first round of American Idol!! Congratulations!! Way to go, Brenna! :-)

Looking to Interview Unsung School Heroes! You know who you are! You're our beloved Lunch-Ladies & Gentlemen, our Schoolyard Maintenance Personnel, and or, our ever-patient Bus-Drivers. Now's your time to shine! You will be featured on Ion Television, and Schmidt Talk Radio. Taping will begin in August, 2012. (Exact dates TBA.) IF YOU'RE READY TO SHINE, CLICK HERE , or go to SchmidtTalk.com .

Sorry to dissapoint you, but this post is EXACTLY what the title implies! ;-) My best friend (God bless her), she loves dogs -has 2 labrador retreivers. Her female is in season (a nice way of putting it), so she put a doggie-diaper on her, but even so, the male dog still keeps 'attempting things' with her. Frustrated, she asked me, "Is there a male version of b*tch britches? You know... where the dog can also go wee-wee through it?" I said, "Well, I don't know, but I was imagining something clothy... sieve-like... and I think it should be called the "Panky Hanky". ;-) LOL

A lovely surprise on Easter. :-)

Schmidt Talk Radio is looking for average, everyday people (bonus if you're more on the homely-side), to model and/or act for our promotional website advertising, and short infomercials/commercials (though you may or may not be selected to participate in one or all), as part of a 'different type' of dating website, to be a spoof of actual (less-than wholesome) dating sites. Desired candidates will hopefully possess non-desirable traits, or habits (however, behavior should be subtle-enough to be believable (not too over the top). So, go ahead, America... Give us your most grungy side, and your most deplorable behavior! Email submissions will be accepted once you have been initially selected. This exposure might just get you famous, so... pull out your best (uh.... "worst" face), and let the world get to know YOU!! Interested Applicants can go to SchmidtTalk.com , and fill out form for consideration. (Accepting Submissions From All Regions.)

Coming Soon from the creators of Schmidt Talk... There's a NEW Dating Service in town... Will You Be Ready To "Give it a Try?"

"Fluffy" was a wonderful present to my daughter from one of her friends. :-)

I'm fixin' to leave at half past four, I got 2 stops to make once i head out the door. My head is aching and my heart's in my hand. Relationships are something i just don't understand. If my past is any testament to this decree, then I should tell suitors not to bother with me. I'm damaged and broken, the prognosis is such, that I'd run in an instant when pressure's too much. Of course I have values, and dreams, and notions, that just don't intersect when mixed with emotions. Of course my heart's heavy whenever I fail. The scars on my heart leave a discernible trail. Nevertheless, it's the path I know best. I'll just pick up my heart and stuff it back in my chest. If there's anything certain I could say of myelf, my heart is still beating in spite of itself. Except I like to walk the safe-line with friendship and mirth, and be certain my feet stay planted firmly on Earth...

I have a date with something orangey & liquidy when I get off work... And I'll probably end up on the floor later. No, it's not Mop & Glo.

Today was unbelievably depressing. I am still trying to make sense of everything... of how to trust people I thought I could trust. Unfortunately, I am just left with my thoughts for tonight, as my friend Missy is not available to talk. She has a migraine. I hope she feels better soon. I feel so godamned lost. I can't explain... Spinning my wheels lost... and slightly unloved and even a bit misled. But then again, all I have to go on is my own thoughts right now... until I can talk with certain people and possibly try to iron things out...