Getting Away with Schmidt

"Warning! Warning!" No, it wasn't the seatbelt sign illuminating. Nor was it any type of beeping alarm coming from the cockpit. It was the unmistakable smell of a freshly soiled diaper, registering in the alarm centers of my brain, as it wafted into the nostrils, of my fellow passengers, and I, at approximately 30,000 feet, just as we had recently settled into our comfortable ride aboard a regional "fun-jet" en route to Salt Lake City. Matter was descending, alright, but it wasn't the plane. The day had started out innocently enough, with the typical, "up-at-3AM" to catch the 6:AM flight routine", complete with the burning eyeballs and the shaky body of a prematurely risen person... where your body already feels so wracked from packing from the day before, that the idea of coffee would almost be an insult upon on the fragile fortress of your flesh. Nonetheless, (and it wasn't the first time I'd assaulted the body with something i...

Sure. I know that title is a little bit crass. But as long as the world has gotten pretty bold about talking about boobies (ie: the popular "I Love Boobies" regalia that has permeated our society in support of breast cancer awareness), I figured it's ok to just go ahead and use the word 'tits'* (a word which has previously not been in my vocabulary). (*But... then again, new motherhood can do strange things to your mind.) As I write this, I am typing with one hand. The other hand I'm using to support my newborn, so I can nurse her... To read more of this story, send me an email , and I'd be happy to send you the rest! Thanks for reading! ;-) For more of my blogs, Click Here!