Getting Away with Schmidt

Regarding the 'Schweddy Balls' debacle between the "One Million Mom's" group (who's facebook, incidentally, is only comprised of 37,800 members -Not one million) having successfully castrated "Schweddy Balls" (oops... I meant "removed") from store shelves, here is a copy of the actual template available on their website (in case you want to "take action" with them). They've gone ahead and gone through the trouble of providing a template, by which to email "Mr. Greenwood", public relations manager for Ben & Jerry's ice cream. (Coming soon, an audio version of this email, as read aloud by Hilda Dooright.) "Dear Mr. Greenwood: As a mother and a member of OneMillionMoms.com, I am greatly offended by Ben & Jerry's decision to use tasteless names for your flavors of ice cream. Your decision is disrespectful to me personally, and to my family. If you continue to use such poor taste and inappropriate

Interview with the famous voice talent Joe Bevilacqua 10/30 by Schmidt Talk | Blog Talk Radio

Schweddy Balls is (WAS) an ice cream flavor by Ben & Jerry's, in homage to an old Saturday Night Live skit . It seems a group of moms just could not stand by while Schweddy Balls were staring them in the face at their local grocery store. This group succeeded in forcing the company to grab, twist, & pull this ice cream off the shelves. It seems this activist group does NOT like Schweddy Balls of ANY kind, (and they probably don't see much of any type of Schweddy Balls outside of the store shelves, either). I digress. They decided they don't want their kids (heck, they don't want ANYONE's kids) exposed to Schweddy Balls. Alas, a few people got to try and enjoy delicious Schweddy Balls, but for the rest of us, we will be left wondering what delicious Schweddy Balls taste like, and can only imagine the delicious sweet balls as relived vicariously through the stories of the privileged few. Hey. At least they were nice enough to leave a few favorite fo

Yeehaw! My daughter and I find ourselves smack-dab in the middle of a chicken show. And, seems the birds weren't the only thing that was rare! Urban/Backyard chicken keeping… You may have heard of it. And, for all intents and purposes, I think it’s a good idea*. I had even researched it somewhat this past couple of years, but I haven’t really had time in between my jobs, and other projects to give it much consideration, until Saturday, when my daughter and I happened upon –of all things – a poultry show, here in the good ole’ mini-town of Newcastle, Oklahoma. It all started on a nice, sunny, Saturday afternoon. I groaned, & slipped my IRS payment into the big, blue mail box at the mayberry-esque post office, and one wrong/right turn found us at a parking lot that resembled a partially open, one-story rec-center. The gravel driveway was rife with 4x4s and cages upon cages upon cages upon cages of POULTRY, of all varieties. My daughter didn’t have to beg me too hard

Oh yes. I’m here to tell you it IS possible to turn an ordinary shopping trip into a glurply, purply, lathering-good time. (But only in my world…) So, it started out as any other ordinary shopping trip to Walmart last night. Jesse, Lydia and I were just coming back from the fair, and Jesse wanted to stop by Walmart on our way home, to get some groceries. (Note: I was NOT intending to buy anything on this particular trip.) Well… that was NOT to be the case this particular evening… After getting a few groceries, Jesse tells me he needs shampoo. So, we proceed to the shampoo / body wash isle. And even though I, myself, do NOT need any shampoo /body wash, I start smelling the various body washes, anyway (and, well, what girl doesn’t?) ;-) But I have a very special way of smelling the shampoo/body washes. You see, if you squeeze the bottle very carefully, you can just push some of the air out of the bottle, which, in turn, releases more of the yummy fragrances into your nostri

OMG... Only in MY world: So... It's "trash-day". There is a big pot of (old) beans in the garage fridge. (They just sat too long out there, because I got too busy to clean out that fridge.) Ok, so... I'll just dump the old beans into a plastic trash bag, & just take it straight to the outside trash can, and take the trash can out to the curb. (It's so funny that I thought this was gonna be easy.) So, I dump the pot into the plastic bag, and set the bag on the garage-floor (temporarily), so I can set the pan (& lid) aside. So... some brown, runny stuff comes oozing near my feet. IT'S BEAN JUICE! Before I know it, it I’m standing in a puddle of it; It GETS ON my really nice boots, as well as the pant-legs of my pants! And A LOT of bean juice ends up covering the garage floor in about a 3X4 puddle (just outside the fridge door, of course). Additionally, I got some of it on my hand once I noticed the puddle. So... no cell on me.. Door shut.. can't

This was written last night, when I was really bored at work, but somehow, I felt so restless... like it was hard to sit still. I feel almost changed from my recent experience... but in a good way... like a part of me has been awakened. So, I will start to share a little bit of what I experienced, starting now, in this blog. It won't be much tonight, as my time is limited. But I can add to it later. So here goes. I just got back from the desert. Back to reality, back from an experience which I am only now coming to realize was more 'perspective-changing' than I could have imagined. I don't know how far-reaching the impression of this experience is yet. Is my enthusiasm just me still experiencing inertia in the wake of the huge ripples of such an experience? Or is it something more lasting? Have I realized more? I sense a difference. I feel enlightened, somehow (which seems strange if you're just somebody reading this out of the blue). If I've "seen the

Friday Night Afterburner 09/03 by Schmidt Talk | Blog Talk Radio : 'via Blog this' First, before we begin, I need to mention that this episode is for a Mature Audience only. On this episode: * Brushing your teeth without a toothbrush * Making the most of peeing discreetly in public (when there are no bathrooms available) * Cutting nausea * To Taco Bell? Or Not to Taco Bell? Dealing with late night drunken-munchies. * And if ya DO make that mistake, I'll be sharing the best way to get puke out of your hair. What about the next day? Did you look at the clock and realize suddenly you’ve lost 2 hours? What to do? Dry shampoo? Ho bath? If you can find your ipod, computer, or other listening device, TUNE IN, and get the straight Schmidt! Schmidt Talk - Your Digital Electrolyte ;-)

So, yeah, I'm doing this workout... watching this instructor-lady lead us through these INSANE moves, all the while, with an extremely fake, plastered-on smile. (You know, the kind where, when you see someone smile like that, it automatically piques an alarm in your brain: "don't-trust-this-person". I go ahead anyway. (After all, I've made 'the investment'.) Anyway, this particular workout program is a "6 WEEK" program, (and I'm not gonna mention names, but lets just say based on the name, I'll let you use your deductive-logic to figure out which company I'm talking about.) Admittedly, due to money & time-constraints, I cannot fully commit to "all" that this workout program would like me to... (like the extra time for the extra videos). I noticed during the first video, the instructor-lady says, "If the bands are too strenuous for you, you can grab your 3 lb. weights." Huh? 3 lb. weights? *Checks original

Savvy is not my real name. It's meant to be a derivative of 'Savannah' (and that's my show name). My real name is already being used by SEVERAL other people in the industry, so I was forced to pick a different name. FYI: 'Schmidt' IS, however, one of my real names. So there ya go! ;)

I'm not sure if this is actually in the fine print, but, since when are unaccompanied minors responsible for looking after their carry-on items? I mean, like I said, it might be in the fine, fine print somewhere, but I just looked at United Airline's policy, and didn't see anything about it. So, I find it a tiny bit audacious that I was given a curt reply when I asked the counter agent if it was possible that the (attending) supervisor please help my daughter look after her backpack (ie: make sure she didn't leave it on the plane, etc.,) I was interrupted before I could finish my sentence, and told, "The child is responsible for her own bag". I mean, he was downright dismissive. (At least patronize me a little bit for my money.) Again, I'm not going to argue if it's in the fine print somewhere, and maybe I just didn't see it, but there's a lot to be said for attitude. My mom just plunked down 100 bucks, after all. They've been vague about

Join me, for my upcoming show: Hes His Own Grandpa 06/18 by Schmidt Talk | Blog Talk Radio

... Because, if you've ever heard the question, "Where'd you get your degree, from a Cracker Jack Box?", you'll definitely wanna have that vac handy! ;-) (Originally published June 15, 2011) So, maybe you’ve graduated high school recently. Or perhaps you’re still sleeping on your parent’s couch for the past decade, and it’s time to start thinking about getting a college degree. Or, maybe you just want to tell your boss ‘where to go’, after being the fine achiever of a college degree (which seems to be increasingly important these days).  Trust me, peers and colleagues WON’T let you forget that fact, making you feel inadequate from the increasing pressure to pursue this ‘all-important’ piece of paper. So, while they’re not out driving their beamers, and getting their nails done, you can really show them, that YOU’RE RIGHT UP THERE WITH THEM! Go ahead. Make them shoot their non-fat moccachinos out their nostrils! They’re sure to be impressed when you don one of t

Gentlemen, start your shop-vacs. Put down that ketchup bottle and tune in, as we explore some odd, and/or interesting courses and degrees that let you make a biz out of the bizarre (or have you rethinking about getting your job back at the carwash). But I warn you: We don’t provide a shop-vac for the Kracker-Jack crumbs that are gonna fall off some of these. Tune in to my show Wednesday: You Got Your Degree from Where 06/15 by Schmidt Talk | Blog Talk Radio

I keep telling myself I will, but then I never get around to it. Anyway, not sure who will even read this, but here goes!